Thursday, August 23, 2007


WARNING Go to the bathroom before you start reading. DO NOT drink a beverage while reading. Have tissue handy because you'll be laughing so hard you're crying. You have been warned :)

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Who doesn't appreciate fine literary allusions???

I got this off Jen Ig's blog. I couldn't link to the exact post so I copied and pasted it here. I guess one of her freinds sent it to her via e-mail. You may have already seen it but I laughed my head off.

I guess you could call this warped literary genious:):):)

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Xanga - Weblog Entry

Xanga - Weblog Entry

Friday, July 06, 2007

Which One?

Stephanie over at had this posted. I think it's a fun way to "get to know" someone

Which One?
Lace or Ribbon? Lace

Mountain or Beach? Mountain

Reading or Writing? Reading
Cookie or Cake? Cookie

Baked or Mashed Potato? Both

Side or Back? Side

Shrimp or Steak? Steak

Scrambled or Fried? Both

Orange or Apple? Apple

Spring or Fall? Fall

Roller Skating or Bowling? Roller Skating

DVD or Theater movies? DVD I can't be quiet and keep my opinions to myself in a theater lol. Besides, it's hard for me to just sit and watch something. Gotta keep my hands busy too.

Wood or Glass? Wood

Blue or Green? neither, I like purple

Chocolate or Vanilla? hmmmm anyone care to take a guess??

Quilt or Knit? knit

Early Morning or Late Night? Both lol. When I worked I really liked the midnight shift

Coffee or Tea? Coffee first thing in the morning. Iced herbal tea after that.

Watermelon or Strawberry? Strawberry

Lunch or Dinner? Dinner

Cold Cereal or Oatmeal? Oatmeal

Song or Dance? Song

Carpet or Hardwood Floor? Hardwood Floor

Red or Pink? Red

Cat or Dog? Definately a dog. Cats annoy me-yet all cats seem to love me-probably just because they KNOW they annoy me!

Pretzels or Chips? Chips

Iced Tea or Lemonade? Tea if it's herbal. I don't care for Lipton. I like lemonade too.

Non-Fiction or Fiction? Non-Fiction

Rose or Daisy? Daisy

Sunrise or Sunset? Sunset

Comb or Brush? Brush

Pottery or Basket? Basket

Bracelet or Necklace? Necklace

Pen or Pencil? Pencil

Couch or Chair? Couch

Country or Victorian? Country

Farm or Ranch? Farm

Braid or Ponytail? Braid

Cash or Check? Cash

Chocolate Bar or Jelly Bean? Chocolate Bar

Coke or Pepsi? Coke

Hot Dog or Cheeseburger? Cheeseburger

Blinds or Curtains? Blinds

Dress or Pants? Dress

Sun or Moon? Moon
Adventure or Comedy? Adventure

Cloud or Star? Cloud

Lake or River? River

Half Full or Half Empty? Half Full

Truck or Car? A nice big 12 passenger van

Bath or Shower? I prefer a bath but usually only have time for a shower

Clothesline or Clothes Dryer? Clothesline

New or Second Hand? Second Hand

Gum or Lifesaver? Gum

Email or Handwritten? Email

July or October? October

Barefoot or Shoes? Barefoot

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Every Mom's Theme Song


Friday, June 22, 2007

Am I A Feminist??? lolololol

You Are 12% Feminist

You are definitely not a feminist. In fact, you are every feminist's worst nightmare.

You believe that women belong in the kitchen.... barefoot and pregnant.


What European City Do I Belong In?

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris.

You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.