WARNING Go to the bathroom before you start reading. DO NOT drink a beverage while reading. Have tissue handy because you'll be laughing so hard you're crying. You have been warned :)
http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Who doesn't appreciate fine literary allusions???
I got this off Jen Ig's blog. I couldn't link to the exact post so I copied and pasted it here. I guess one of her freinds sent it to her via e-mail. You may have already seen it but I laughed my head off.
I guess you could call this warped literary genious:):):)
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
I guess you could call this warped literary genious:):):)
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Which One?
Stephanie over at musings-of-a-mountain-mama@blogspot.com/ had this posted. I think it's a fun way to "get to know" someone
Which One?
Lace or Ribbon? Lace
Mountain or Beach? Mountain
Reading or Writing? Reading
Cookie or Cake? Cookie
Baked or Mashed Potato? Both
Side or Back? Side
Shrimp or Steak? Steak
Scrambled or Fried? Both
Orange or Apple? Apple
Spring or Fall? Fall
Roller Skating or Bowling? Roller Skating
DVD or Theater movies? DVD I can't be quiet and keep my opinions to myself in a theater lol. Besides, it's hard for me to just sit and watch something. Gotta keep my hands busy too.
Wood or Glass? Wood
Blue or Green? neither, I like purple
Chocolate or Vanilla? hmmmm anyone care to take a guess??
Quilt or Knit? knit
Early Morning or Late Night? Both lol. When I worked I really liked the midnight shift
Coffee or Tea? Coffee first thing in the morning. Iced herbal tea after that.
Watermelon or Strawberry? Strawberry
Lunch or Dinner? Dinner
Cold Cereal or Oatmeal? Oatmeal
Song or Dance? Song
Carpet or Hardwood Floor? Hardwood Floor
Red or Pink? Red
Cat or Dog? Definately a dog. Cats annoy me-yet all cats seem to love me-probably just because they KNOW they annoy me!
Pretzels or Chips? Chips
Iced Tea or Lemonade? Tea if it's herbal. I don't care for Lipton. I like lemonade too.
Non-Fiction or Fiction? Non-Fiction
Rose or Daisy? Daisy
Sunrise or Sunset? Sunset
Comb or Brush? Brush
Pottery or Basket? Basket
Bracelet or Necklace? Necklace
Pen or Pencil? Pencil
Couch or Chair? Couch
Country or Victorian? Country
Farm or Ranch? Farm
Braid or Ponytail? Braid
Cash or Check? Cash
Chocolate Bar or Jelly Bean? Chocolate Bar
Coke or Pepsi? Coke
Hot Dog or Cheeseburger? Cheeseburger
Blinds or Curtains? Blinds
Dress or Pants? Dress
Sun or Moon? Moon
Adventure or Comedy? Adventure
Cloud or Star? Cloud
Lake or River? River
Half Full or Half Empty? Half Full
Truck or Car? A nice big 12 passenger van
Bath or Shower? I prefer a bath but usually only have time for a shower
Clothesline or Clothes Dryer? Clothesline
New or Second Hand? Second Hand
Gum or Lifesaver? Gum
Email or Handwritten? Email
July or October? October
Barefoot or Shoes? Barefoot
Which One?
Lace or Ribbon? Lace
Mountain or Beach? Mountain
Reading or Writing? Reading
Cookie or Cake? Cookie
Baked or Mashed Potato? Both
Side or Back? Side
Shrimp or Steak? Steak
Scrambled or Fried? Both
Orange or Apple? Apple
Spring or Fall? Fall
Roller Skating or Bowling? Roller Skating
DVD or Theater movies? DVD I can't be quiet and keep my opinions to myself in a theater lol. Besides, it's hard for me to just sit and watch something. Gotta keep my hands busy too.
Wood or Glass? Wood
Blue or Green? neither, I like purple
Chocolate or Vanilla? hmmmm anyone care to take a guess??
Quilt or Knit? knit
Early Morning or Late Night? Both lol. When I worked I really liked the midnight shift
Coffee or Tea? Coffee first thing in the morning. Iced herbal tea after that.
Watermelon or Strawberry? Strawberry
Lunch or Dinner? Dinner
Cold Cereal or Oatmeal? Oatmeal
Song or Dance? Song
Carpet or Hardwood Floor? Hardwood Floor
Red or Pink? Red
Cat or Dog? Definately a dog. Cats annoy me-yet all cats seem to love me-probably just because they KNOW they annoy me!
Pretzels or Chips? Chips
Iced Tea or Lemonade? Tea if it's herbal. I don't care for Lipton. I like lemonade too.
Non-Fiction or Fiction? Non-Fiction
Rose or Daisy? Daisy
Sunrise or Sunset? Sunset
Comb or Brush? Brush
Pottery or Basket? Basket
Bracelet or Necklace? Necklace
Pen or Pencil? Pencil
Couch or Chair? Couch
Country or Victorian? Country
Farm or Ranch? Farm
Braid or Ponytail? Braid
Cash or Check? Cash
Chocolate Bar or Jelly Bean? Chocolate Bar
Coke or Pepsi? Coke
Hot Dog or Cheeseburger? Cheeseburger
Blinds or Curtains? Blinds
Dress or Pants? Dress
Sun or Moon? Moon
Adventure or Comedy? Adventure
Cloud or Star? Cloud
Lake or River? River
Half Full or Half Empty? Half Full
Truck or Car? A nice big 12 passenger van
Bath or Shower? I prefer a bath but usually only have time for a shower
Clothesline or Clothes Dryer? Clothesline
New or Second Hand? Second Hand
Gum or Lifesaver? Gum
Email or Handwritten? Email
July or October? October
Barefoot or Shoes? Barefoot
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Am I A Feminist??? lolololol
You Are 12% Feminist |
 You are definitely not a feminist. In fact, you are every feminist's worst nightmare. You believe that women belong in the kitchen.... barefoot and pregnant. |
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!
What European City Do I Belong In?
You Belong in Paris |
 You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe. |
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